Kid, you leave me speechless

Mac — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:36:09 +0000

“Mommy,” three year old M says, then touches my breasts lightly. “Why you got this?”
I stare down at him, speechless.
He looks down at his own chest. “Where’s my big ones?”
I vary between starting to laugh and starting to panic. What on earth am I going to say?
Then he sees his shirt. “Look. My shirt’s dirty.”
I hold my breath, but this is the end of the conversation. He spins away and demands ‘Monster Mike’.
Saved once again by the natural ADD of a three year old. Thank goodness.

But it gets me thinking. I’ve never thought about what kind of answers I could give to these kinds of questions.

Of course, with hindsight, the answers are always easy. But asked out of the blue, on a coincidentally blue-skied South African afternoon, well… The mind boggles.

At least, mine does.

There are also other challenges like:
“Mommy, where’s your willy?”
“Did you poo, mommy?” (always asked in a crowded area at Full volume, asked whether I left the table to get food / sauce or whatever)
“Here, mommy, eat it. Eat it, it’s nice!” (after digging something green out of his nose)
“Yum, yum!” (after EATING said green monstrosity)
“I got a willy!” (again, always in a crowded area at Full volume… and with heaps of pride! Often followed by “na-nana-nah-na!”)
“He’s brown, mommy. I not brown.” (very true, but hard when thinking people might think your poor child racist when he’s just learning his colours…)

Do your kids leave you speechless?

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Kid, you leave me speechless